Netizens are expressing concern over a man's disagreement with his future wife regarding supporting her parents after marriage, with many suggesting that it could be seen as a “big red flag.”
A user wrote a post on Reddit titled ‘Expenses after marriage’, “I was discussing with her about finances and shared my idea. I told her that we will plan our finances based on our combined income which will help us to achieve our financial goals,” the user wrote.
“She is not okay with that idea. She wants to support her family and take care of her sister. I'm not okay with this part. Her younger sister is 22 now and will be joining corporate next month (4lpa). She should be able to save and manage her expenses. Her family is independent enough (no debts) but are biased towards their son. They clearly hesitate spending any amount of money on their girl children. Her brother (29) is studying MBA final year and low chances of getting job. He doesn't take any responsibility and only concerned about his lifestyle. He takes 20k pm pocket money,” he further noted.
He clarified to his girlfriend that it was not a lack of money but clear discrimination. He added, “You shouldn't support them just because they are family. Since her family might not support her younger sister, she wants to be there for her.”
The user noted, “She wants to support her sister's post-graduation and marriage. Whatever be that amount. I want to draw a boundary on that.”
By the time of writing, the post has garnered 60 upvotes, and 146 comments.
A user said, “When you marry a person. You need to agree to the whole package. Whether you convince her out of few things going forward that depends on you. You need to accept her present.”
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The user further added, “But spending for sister's education or supporting till she can settle is a good thing, especially when her parents are not doing it because of the son bias. If she pays the pocket money to a 30yr old guy with MBA. That's day light robbery. Supporting a 22 Yr old sister is no way wrong.”
Another user said, “I personally feel, rather than pouring your complete income and then planning. You should be rather pouring a set amount. Because that will give both of you folks to have independent expenses as well as shared mutual expenses. Personally, you can only give her your opinion on what to do with her money and not force it. If her expectations are exceeding what she is earning you can make her realise the Same. You cannot have everything in life and it's not fair for her to expect that you will finance her aspirations.”
"Hypothetically, if by chance any such situation comes at our side where your family would need alot of money for any reason and they look up to you , how would you manage?" asked another user.
A user remarked, “You can not dictate what her sister does after graduation, private job or govt job. If you gf wants to support her sister, you cannot object into that as well. She is earning well. She can support both. Also, your families financial status is very well. Your parent shave 1 CR saving. They have pension also. U have 2.2 lakh salary. You only have 25 lakh loan. Why do u want wife's contribution in daily life ? U can get everything u want. Unless u r looking for Ambani life style and Mercedes.”
